Mop Man

The Army dining facility (DFAC) here is like a giant buffet restaurant without any of the frills.  The DFAC is run by a contractor and every few months the contract seems to be rebid.  The same people run the facility and serve the same food but the contract changes so one day they are all wearing blue GCC vests and the next day they are wearing red KBR vests.   

There are several long self serve islands that divide the DFAC into a number of what interior designers would call "spaces."  Near the area where we usually sit for lunch one of the islands has self serve tea dispensers.  Since Ive been here the sweet tea dispenser has had a fault such that when tea pours out it comes at a high velocity.  If you're not expecting it the tea hits the ice in your cup and sprays back all over everything.  It also, of course, drips after you've pulled your cup away.

The result of the tea overspray and drip is that there is a constant puddle of tea on the tile around the dispenser.  This is not unnoticed by the management as there is also a perpetual yellow "Caution - Wet Floor" tent on the ground just in front of the tea machine (which has to be stepped over or around to get to the tea in the first place).  In addition to the wet floor signage there is also a man whose job it is to mop up spills.  He is the Mop Man.

Mop Man's job description must be to mop up spills as quickly as possible and Mop Man takes this very seriously.  Those of us who have been around a while always look to determine Mop Man's whereabouts before we lean in to fill our cups with tea.  This is because at the sound of overspray Mop Man charges the tea station like an NHL player driving a puck at a goal.  He swings his mop like a hockey stick and is not above body checking anyone who stands between him and his objective - mopping up the spill.  You can feel Mop Mans displeasure with you for spilling on his floor.  One must be aware of where he is in the DFAC in order to estimate the time required to fill up their cup and get out of the way.  Mop Man is never far away and pretty much spends his day mopping up the spills under the tea machine.   

One day I made the observation that KBR could save a lot of money in labor if they just fixed the tea machine.  Then Mop Man could do something else or they could have one less employee to pay. 

A few weeks later the contract changed and everyone put on their new vests.  At lunch that day I noticed that the "Caution" tent was no longer under the tea machine.  Indeed, neither was the regular puddle.  And Mop Man was nowhere in sight.  Looking up I observed that the entire array of tea dispensers had been replaced with new machines.  As I poured my tea I noted that the liquid flowed at a slow, even rate such that no overspray or spill resulted.  Problem solved, but there was no more Mop Man.  I felt bad for him. 

I shouldn't have.  A few days later I went to pour my tea and the spiggot gurgled and sprayed tea every where.  I noted that the "Caution" tent had returned below my feet and, almost too late, my hair stood on end and I somehow knew that Mop Man was bearing down on me from behind at high speed.  I leapt out of the way just in time as Mop Man slid up to the spill with ice skater precision and quickly weilded his mop to absorb the spilled tea.  Although this time, rather than disdain in his eye I detected a litle bit of a twinkle as he went about his task. 

Mop Man had returned!  Now I wonder if Mop Man had anything to do with the damaged tea dispenser.  Hmmm?